First, I only heard of what a doula was, in Michigan, from my good friend, who was attempting to have a vaginal birth on her second try, after a c-section (called a VBAC) she regretted with her first-born. She traveled an hour to a birth center that would allow her to do a VBAC. I stayed home with her stepson, and prayed for the experience she hoped for. Leading up to her final drive up to the center, I helped her, in her labor, to get through the contractions and care for her little one. I’m so glad I did, because it made my first birth experience better than I could imagine. I recommend getting a doula!
What’s a doula, anyways?
A doula, simply put, is a birth partner. A second one, in most cases. At the time of my dear friend’s doula-assisted labor, I hadn’t yet considered having a baby, let alone a labor. My first pregnancy came as a surprise, but my need for additional labor support did not. My boyfriend at the time was a small business owner and he was not the best at separating work from home-life.
I didn’t have unlimited funds for the extra help, so I’ll be frank, I based my decision on cost and offering. I found that some companies were run as one-woman-shows, while others had a staff of doulas. The company I chose actually had a staff, but assigned a couple doulas to your birth, who would both meet with you, be available for 24 hour support, and if need be and according to a pre-determined schedule, be present for your labor and delivery.
The Big Day Finally Came!
I went into labor on a Sunday night, after having inconsistent contractions all day. By Monday morning, I was ready to get the show on the road, and asked my scheduled doula to meet me at home. She came over and took a few contractions to decide that the labor wasn’t as progressed as I’d thought. She made suggestions for getting my labor moving along, reminded me of the positions and strategies to help with pain, and took a break to go home that night while I labored through the night at home.
By the time the morning came, my contractions were a lot closer together and stronger, meaning more painful. I called her Tuesday morning when I decided to head to the hospital, where she met us. My spouse was helpful, too, but definitely less focused or educated on helping me. We proceeded to the triage for laboring mothers, where they checked on the baby with fetal heart monitors, and decided I would be admitted, as soon as they had a room and nurses available on the delivery-floor. Hours went by, where I was uncomfortably attached to monitors and unable to use a bathtub to ease my pain from contractions as I’d planned. My doula was by my side and encouraged me through this time, while keeping her ear open to the updates about my room upstairs.
Working with Hospital Staff
She also helped me to express my intention to have a natural birth, without the help of pain medication or injections, and that I wanted as little intervention, with the natural process that we knew my body could progress through, as possible. Six or more hours after arriving at the hospital, I was moved to the room I would deliver in, and the nurses I was assigned to were on-board with my plans, while following the hospital’s protocols about monitoring the baby’s vital signs.
She brought props & coached my spouse.
My doula was prepared with essential oils to help with my labor’s progression, which entails helping the contractions to make progress in terms of cervix dilation, instead of just hurting for no reason. She helped me in and out of the bathtub in my room, fixed the lighting and music, and brought me towels and clothes each time I changed strategies. Believe me when I tell you, we changed strategies often and returned to the ones that alleviated pain most effectively several times. She also encouraged my spouse to use gentle touches and counter-pressure techniques to help me during contractions, or did so herself when he wasn’t available.
All hands on deck!
For me, having a doula was most important and valuable when it came to the absence or unavailability of my baby’s father to help. She also acted as a coach to him, suggesting ways he could help me with pain or get my mind off of it. Because you cannot predict the length of time your birth will take, I imagine that many fathers or primary birth partners cannot be present for every moment of labor, even if they want to be. The bottom line is, everyone needs rest, food, and likely has responsibilities of their own; and having a doula ready to fill-in when you need her is the best feeling! Having someone by your side to encourage you, embrace you, and to advise you in moments of weakness is a must! Weakness turns to strength when you have the confidence from support nearby! Check out my other post about doulas, for more information.
It was a long and hard birth experience, but I did it!
To continue the story of my birth, I’ll add that after another 12 hours of labor in the delivery room at the hospital, my first doula on the schedule went home to sleep, eat, and spend time with her family while I continued my work. Later, the second doula came to my rescue when my contractions had become quite strong and painful. My water broke, my labor progressed, and during the last stages of the process, she was there for me, reminding me of the bible verses and words of affirmation I’d collected for the toughest moments. She wasn’t there nearly as long as the first poor gal had to be, but she was valuable still, in different and wonderful ways. My spouse was involved and excited to see our baby boy during this time, and my two partners worked wonderfully together to support me, as I had reached a labor of nearly 65 hours, but accomplished my goal of a natural birth, and a healthy baby.
Why I’ll never birth without one:
- Knowledgeable support for early labor
- Props & Essential Oils for labor progression and pain relief
- Coaching of my spouse or other labor partner
- Filling in when my spouse can not be there
- Natural childbirth encouragement & help with hospital staff